A Trip to the Mall, Part I

“Yeah, if you go over there to the Mega Plaza…” R’s voice started to say.

“Argggh! You know I HATE the damn Mega Plaza!” I responded.

“Why on Earth do you hate the Mega Plaza?” he asked.

“Well,” I started to reply, struggling to articulate my hatred for the damn Mega Plaza, “it’s not really what I’d call a mall,” I finally concluded.

“How so?” he asked. I felt like he knew exactly what I was talking about, but was just being a bit cheeky, in a fool-hearty attempt to help me get the hell over myself.

“THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH CLOTHING STORES!” I yelped abruptly and loudly, feeling exasperated that he’d even ask such a ridiculous question.

“Well,” he started again, “if you go get this little fuse, we can maybe watch the sixth Harry Potter movie tonight, even when the electricity goes out.”

“Humph, I guess I now have motivation.”

After lunch, me and my driver began the trek to the damn Mega Plaza.

On the way to the damn Mega Plaza, I drove by an interesting billboard. Religion is both in your face and covertly advertised in different ways here in Lagos. In the States, things usually have outright religious advertising or not. Here, the advertisers seem to blend the two, sometimes with head-scratching results, as least in my opinion.

This billboard seems to be directed towards young women who need subliminal guidance on how to choose a guy. Basically, religious guy = good guy is the message here. Out of respect for people’s religions, I won’t make any snarky comments about the obvious fallacies associated with believing religious = good, but I digress, before I start.



I also saw two little Red Bull cars. I’ve seen these little cars roaming around in the States, too. It’s funny that I took a photo of these little cars on the way to the damn Mega Plaza because on the way home from the damn Mega Plaza, I saw that one of these little Red Bull cars had been involved in an accident. One of the construction dump trucks had changed lanes and side swiped the little car. The drivers of both were out side of their cars, furiously arguing about the incident. It made me wonder what it’s like to deal with the Nigerian bureaucrats when trying to get your car registered, your driver’s license, going to small claims court, etc. My own dealings with immigration officials made me want to gauge out my own eyeballs using a small teaspoon, so I can only imagine the frustration of the local folks if they have to deal with officials more than I do.


After about 30 minutes in traffic, I finally made it to the damn MegaPlaza.


The damn Mega Plaza is a strange place. It is a tall and narrow building, unlike any mall that I’ve seen in the States. There are armed guards at the entrance. When you approach, if they feel like it, they will search your person with metal detectors and open your purse. If they do NOT feel like it, which is what happened to me today, they will continue to chat with each other, as you walk by unnoticed and unbothered.

The first floor has office supply kind of stuff, which is why I was there. I was in search of a very small fuse for a piece of electronic equipment called an uninterrupted power supply or UPS. The UPS is like a big ass battery and surge protector combo that you plug your priceless electronics into for safety and continued availability to use. When the power goes out, which it will, several times a day, for various lengths of time, your electronics keep working for a while, running on the battery of the UPS. One of ours blew a fuse, so we had trouble watching Harry Potter movies at night when the power went out.

I also needed photo paper, a binder, and some plastic sheet covers. I went into the first office supply store. It was hot and VERY crowded. The aisles of the stores are not very far apart, so me and an employee who was stocking the shelves almost became down right intimate when I tried to pass her.

I was able to find photo paper at the first store, but no fuse.

I walked literally to the next store, next door, and the signs were almost identical. The large plastic bags that I received at checkout are also almost identical. One reads “Office R Us” and the other reads “Office Land, Ltd.” Quite original naming.

Both stores were owned by folks who I think were Indians. I found this fascinating since in ONE day, today, I saw four people whom I think are Indians. I had never seen any people whom I thought were Indians any other day, so I was excited to experience the diversity.

I ended up buying printer paper, a binder, and plastic sheet covers. I will share the rest of my day tomorrow, in “A Trip to the Mall, Part II.”

Be sure to come back tomorrow; I will write about all of the interesting things then. Ha!

Thanks for reading. Be sure to subscribe.




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