The Struggle is Real (Cheese)

Click, clack, click, clack.

There go my chubby, brown fingers flapping against the keyboard, typing out, “Where is the nearest Red Lobster?”

Unsurprisingly, Google Maps reported to me that even GOOGLE could not find a Red Lobster close to me.

My spirit dampened, but not deterred, I decided to turn to Pinterest. Pinterest provided me with a little ray of hope in the form of a “Better than Red Lobster’s Cheddar Bay Biscuits” recipe.

The only problem was, well, that there was more than one problem.

1. No way someone from Pinterest had mastered the guilty delciousness of Red Lobster’s biscuits.
2. I DID NOT HAVE ANY CHEDDAR CHEESE.

 

Like almost every thing in Lagos, cheddar cheese is quite expensive. It is good, but expensive. The cheddar cheese that you find in stores here is made from pampered European cows, those cows that roam the pastures freely, getting gentle pats on the head from European Farmer Brown, all while taking some selfies with their newest generation iPhones.  You know, the way cows should be treated, the opposite of how most of them are treated back home in the States.

And since I did not have any of that delicious, and pricey, cheddar cheese, I scoured the fridge for a substitute and found the following:

Grade A, all (not) American, cheddar cheese product. I said to myself “YOLO” and proceeded to cut it into tiny little strips to mix into my biscuit batter.

 

I meticulously cut those little cheese flaps into strips, like this:

And then, I cut those strips into little cubes. But, I did not take a picture of the cubes because I thought that:

1. No one is probably going to read this anyway
2. If you’re still reading this, you are smart enough to know what a cube of cheddar cheese product looks like
3. I am writing a blog post about cutting cheddar cheese product into cubes. The only reason this is remotely interesting is because I am doing it while stationed in a foreign country

 

I decided to write about this cheddar cheese product substitution because I make a LOT of substitutions in my cooking when I cook here in Lagos, which is pretty much every day.

The final product turned out like this:

A few things about these little things:

1. They’re REALLY UGLY
2. The cheddar cheese product melted like actual cheddar cheese
3. They were quite tasty, aside from needing to add a bit more salt to the recipe
4. I felt like a culinary genius

What are your thoughts? Have you ever made a recipe substitution? If so, what? Leave me a comment.

Until tomorrow, my friends!

P.S. : In full disclosure, I must admit that these were NOT better than Red Lobster’s.